I'm not sure I can say anything new about how the media (also, the world) makes women feel. (Ok, all people. Guys, I'm sure the world makes you feel all kinds of crap about yourself too, but I better understand what it's trying to tell the ladies). You get it. You'll walk around all day feeling pretty awesome about yourself and then you pass a model on the street and suddenly you feel huge and vow never to eat again. {Is this just a New York problem? I swear to god I pass so many models on the street it seems statistically impossible}
I'm pretty sure most women feel like to be super hot they should be striving to basically stop existing. That's why our clothing sizes make no sense. Like for dudes, your size is an actual number that correlates to a measurement of your body. Makes sense. Ladies sizes are like WhatTheFuckAreYouEvenBasingThatOn. Like what the fuck is "0"?! I am a size "0" in most stores and every time I try it on I'm just like WTF that is not a size! I do not measure zero inches! I exist, I swear. Worse, I went shopping with my mom and in Ann Taylor Loft I am a size double zero petite. Like, bitch, who you callin' a double zero? Fuck you. BUT everyone is so obsessed with small numbers.
The other number we're all obsessed with is weight. Everything (esp. for women) is all like "loose weight!" "drop pounds!" so we're all like trying to be zero everything all the time. Which is what makes girls in their heads go "Aiight well I'll just stop eating and run forever and then I will be so small I will collect all the zeros and be the smallest number winner and win at life".
I have definitely felt that way for most of my life. Obvi, this creates all kinds of fucked up mental problems because that's not actually a healthy mindset, and it's for sure not sustainable because you brain/body needs like fucking nutrients to keep you alive and shit.
Like I mentioned in my first post, when I first started actually lifting weights I was terrified of "getting bulky". There are some photos of female body builders that are absolutely terrifying and for some fucked up reason I was afraid that lifting was going to make me look like that. (Yes, this is ridiculous. Those women work HARD to look like that). But whatever that's the thought I had in my uneducated little mind.
When I first started noticing muscle definition from lifting I was like "wooooooaaaaaa, cool!" Turns out, muscles are awesome. And yes, on females. And not only does muscle definition look awesome, it feels awesome too. I'm not a good enough writer to accurately describe how baller it is to actually feel yourself getting stronger, so you're just going to have to start lifting and see for yourself. But I do have one distinct memory of running up the stairs coming out of the subway and actually feeling like Rocky. Mock me if you want but running up the stairs and not getting winded because of pure strength is prettyfuckingcool.
So basically what I'm try to say... is stop obsessing over zeros.
I'll admit that when I first started my gym rat-ness, I was losing weight. And that was really exciting. Stepping on the scale and seeing a lower number was a visual representation of the progress I was making.
But then I got a little too into it. I figured out that with more cardio, the numbers would get lower. So I was running more and more. At my lowest weight I was 97lbs and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that a sick twisted little part of my brain was full of joy at being the lowest number winner.
That's all well and good... except I was also tired all the time. Instead of feeling energized after my workouts, I felt like I wanted to take a nap (and letsbereal then I would take a nap). And I wasn't able to lift as heavy. I was still lifting but I was pretty much just bullshitting through the weights part of my routine so I could get my skinny ass on the tredmill and hamster it out.
So I'm shifting my focus.
I feel so.much.better when I'm stronger. I feel my best at a solid 103-105lbs of muscularness. So I'm going to keep my focus on increasing my strength and building muscle, and ultimately achieving a better body composition. Because that, I've learned, is what's really important. And guess what, there's not really a number for that. If you need one to track your progress, get your body fat percentage tested. I started gaining weight when I relaxed the cardio and lifted heavier and at first I got really depressed. Then my friend Steph said she had gone through the same thing and told me to get my body fat tested. She said she had gained weight but had moved from the "acceptable range" to the "fitness range"... which is a TOTAL win, WAY more than a lower number on the scale. I got mine tested too and, sho' nuff, major progress.
I'm gonna write another post about cardio later and my love/hate relationship with it... but I'll save that for another day.
Ninja.
Michael and I were watching that American Ninja Warrior show (which wins for most ridiculous title ever. and stop judging me) but there was this chick on it who is a TOTAL. BADASS. Some dude right before her tried to finish the course, and couldn't And apparently no woman has ever completed it, ever. But this chick BEASTED IT. She finished the whole thing, like a champ. Why? Because she is strong as fuck. Her name is Kacy Catanzaro, check her out:
You think she was able to do that shit because of hours spent running on the tredmill? Nope. She's a gymnast so she's pretty much in the best shape ever. And she's pretty much my new fitness hero. (Also she's only 5 feet tall, and as I'm 5'2 I need a fellow shawty to look up to)
To wrap it up.
Lifting weights is awesome. Focused, strength training is awesome. I'm going to keep that in mind, focus, and work on my strength. And be a ninjaaaaaaaaa warriorrrrrrrrrrrorsomethinglikethat.
PS: Here's a link to watch Kacey destroy that obstacle course like a little tiny ninja badass.
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